Yep see I started the blog and promptly forgot about…well not really more like I was to tired to boot up my computer when I get home at night and the last thing I wanted to do was feel my emotions…LAME? Well yes because you see I am a compulsive overeater and what happens when you stuff your emotions…you just add a touch more of food to every meal or stay up until midnight so you have a perfect excuse for another snack…who cares if your alarm goes off at 4:30 am because food over rules sleep. I have discovered you can over eat on foods other then ice cream and cake….you can over eat eggs and fruit and cheese and hummus and avocados…get the point. It is simply lame. I lost 100 lbs over two years ago…I really never want to be back where I was, so why would I allow the food back in…hmmmmm…not sure about that. Oh that’s right I am crazy when it comes to that part of my life…All together now “POWERLESS”

Moving on to why I decided I needed to write in my blog today…I have had an emotional week and this morning topped it off I logged on to facebook to discover my bested friend who is my kindred spirit is scheduled for surgery on 9/29/09. She has fluid on her brain and they have to drain it. I guess what set me off is she said she will be in the ICU the first night then the hospital for like 3 days…Why ICU???? That just seems to serious for me. I have no idea and don’t want to bother her with a phone call. She is a super busy mother of 4 beautiful girls. So I did text her. All I want to do is cry. I need her, love her and want her around for years and years. We have always joked that once the kids grew up we would grow old together and I really really want that. We also say we will be to old ladies living together and rocking in chair on the porch…You see our lives are so busy and chaotic that we always say we have later….Now keep in mind she is married but still…LOL. I will be praying for her and I know its selfish that my first thought is OMGOSH what on earth will I do if something happens to her because I need her so much. The funny thing is we only see each other once a year because we have never lived close to each other but we keep in touch sporadically through out the year. We are close but in a different way. When I am with her I am at peace I never feel like I have to fill the silence with my chatter and have to be anything then what I am. I am not a freak about schedule and control and am able to let go….I even relax in my parenting some. She never judges me and loves me unconditionally how blessed am I to have such a person in my life? She has taught me so much.