more old writings...

Moving on...

This was written to my sponsor on 12/23/09: I am OK...its such a crazy busy time of year not just at home but at work as well. On top of that my best friend is having complications form her surgery and is back in ICU...she will be there through Christmas. She is in Texas and it makes it hard. I have been crying since last night. Which in a way is good as I rarely cry...I have not turned to food...and its all good. She is the most beautiful loving soul and she keeps reminding me that God is in control.

I also feel relieved that I do not have to worry about the things I am putting in my mouth for the holidays. Everyone is complaining about weight gain and how they can not stop and how the holidays always do this and how Jan 1 they are going on a diet...I am very grateful I do not even have to play that game. I am not tempted at all to eat any of the crap going around. At all. Its amazing to me. I smile inward every time I hear someone complain, as they stuff a cookie in their mouth. I have treated myself to hot coco and egg nog which I found sweetened with honey...but even that I am not obsessing or over drinking. I found a wonderful spice coffee with cognac recipe I will have Christmas morning and have even figured out how to eliminate the brown sugar the recipe calls for.

This year my boss did not buy me a box of See's candy like she has the last 3 years. She got everyone else candy and me a beautiful candle. I feel so blessed. It reminds me why I am in OA. I am grateful for that. Now if I could stop adding food to my plate I will be perfect...well not perfect...but close. Oh the one thing I am eating a lot of because it's that time of year...Tamales. Goodness they are my very favorite. And my friends make them and I freeze them and eat on them. But I think its OK. I may have them for breakfast., lunch and dinner but then i go weeks without eating them. I usually add fruit when eating them. They are my treat and I know whats in them because my friends make them. I do have a sweet tamale but its pineapple and pineapple juice so not so bad. It's my treat. Its so funny to me how fruit can taste like candy.

12/24/09: I am only working half day and have a ton to do before I leave as I will be out most of next. I can not wait as we are doing NOTHING. I figured a couple of days of jammies and movies would be welcomed for both my daughter and I. Plus we will be cleaning house in preparation for the New Year.

***update 1/30/10: Jenn is home and finally recovering...its a slow process. The spiced coffe recipe was gross and I finally lost it and binged on coco powder of all stupid things